Late night studying with a little bit of ER

Hey guys,

Wow...Am I tired and a little brain dead.

I have an annoyingly stuffed up nose and a nasty headache with neck pain. Today really hasn't been the greatest of days. I have a Chemistry Final on Thursday that I'm not looking forward too. I went to class today and my teacher gave me back my Chem exam from last week and I was a little disappointed when I saw that I got a 75%. I thought I had done a lot better...When I looked over all of the mistakes I made, I realized that a lot of them were really stupid mistakes and I'm a little annoyed.

May 10, 2011

Well it certaintly has been awhile since my last post....

I guess I have just been super busy and a little lazy.

I'm waiting to go to mi clase de espanol which I hope goes by fast so that I can go home. I love Wensdays because I only have one class and pretty much the rest of the day is chilled. It's such a nice morning out, the sun is out, it's really warm and I'm wearing shorts to school, so I think i'm going to go for a really long run today. :)

I'm excited for the weekend. I came home from school yesterday and mom told me that the Argonne Library is having a booksale on Saturday. I love booksales. I'm a little worried though because I have to Coach the U-10's games on Saturday and they don't get over until 11 and the book sale starts at 10am so I hope not all the good boooks are gone. I will have to drive there fast after the games. Haha ok not to fast that I get a ticket though.

Also I saw some flyers at school, that there is a Native American Powwow this weekend that I think I might check out. It looks like fun. Sunday I'm carpooling to church with Senaida and then we are going to run from church to her house which is about 10 miles, but downhill do will see if I survive.

Speaking of running, I'm putting together a "Let's Climb a Mt Race" team this summer and I'm really excited for that. I haven't raced in it since Sophmore year of high school. It's 32 miles from the clock tower down town to the top of Mt. Spokane. Oh don't worry! Nobody run's the whole 32 miles...ok, well maybe some crazy, loco people do, but the race is split up into six different legs, each team member running a different amount of distance. You get really cool t-shirts too. So I've got to get the paper work done and get it sent in.

Well, I've got to head to class........

Chau.

Killing time before Chinese club and then I can go home.

Well, the week is over!

I made it through this week without anything drastic happening and i was able to keep busy that this weeek has actually gone by fast.

what's been going on this week?

Well, I got the wierdest hair cut this week, something I normally don't do. I got bangs and to be really honest, I liked them for a day and now I want my hair back!

yeah, I even googled how long it takes for hair to grow and it say's by next year my bangs will have grown only six inches. =( still not long enough sadly.

I had a test in Spanish today and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Spanish is pretty easy, but now i've got to switch gears and work on chemistry all weekend. Blah!


I'm craving M&M's right now and I really just want to get out of here but were making food in chinese club and I kind of want to stick around for that.

Ok I'm tired of this,

lol

David Nail - Red Light

This is a good song.

Lady Antebellum - Hello World

Darius Rucker - Come Back Song

Another one of my favorites. =]

Darius Rucker - History In The Making

I love Darius Rucker, such a good song.

Change

» “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”
– Carol Burnett

» “Give wind and tide a chance to change.”
– Richard E. Byrd

Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.
Mary Kay Ash - Belief - Motivational - Ambition

"You have to believe in yourself. And you have to, down deep within the bottom of your soul, feel that you can do the job that you've set out to do." - William Castle DeVries

"The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without struggle were perhaps to win it without honour. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved." - Samuel Smiles

The most important of life's battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.”

David McKay quotes A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.” A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done. If you'll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives. “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. (My Favorite =) ) "To keep the body in good health is a duty . . . otherwise we shall not be able to keep our minds strong and clear." Buddha no matter who we are, where we're going, or where we've been, we all struggle. everyone has battles. everyone, at one time or another, faces the every moment, to day, to year, trials of existence. such is life.sometimes simple. sometimes complicated. when we wake up with challenges, we wake up with choices. to either overcome all that holds us down by going against what opposes us - or to continue sitting quietly in the foul stench of our own shit, while at the same time surendering ourselves to dear and failure. life shifts, spins, and relocates. as we do. we all have the ability to switch our fear of failure into an energy to overcome any trial. just a sure as we all have a spine. - Hot Water Music

A New Ending:

I Found this online and I think these are some great words to live by, Enjoy. -Alex

A NEW ENDING

---

No one can go back and make a brand new start.

Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

There isn't promise of days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,

but can promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.

Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight, and be happy.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

Never abandon an old friend.

You will never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Weekends are my favorite time of the week.

Feliz viernes!

Today is Friday and it is my favorite time of the week because now I get to look forward to the weekend. Besides the usual light homework and some occasional studying over the weekends, I live for the weekends. It's probably not such a good thing because most of my life is lived through the week but I really dislike going to school and am literally counting down the days until i'm done....which by the way is another eight or so years..lol

But anyways , back to Friday! It's my favorite time because usually once all my classes are done at school, I come home, run and then just kick back and chill out for the rest of the day. Not worrying about school. I usually leave that for Saturday and Sunday evenings hahaha ;)

hmmm.... Not a whole lot went on today. I had Chinese and Spanish today and I had a chinese test this morning that I think I pretty much nailed. Spanish is a breeze. I like going and all but I really hate the classroom because for some reason it smells really weird and somedays it's just hard to stand. I wonder if that's just me?? Idk. I have to work on a Spanish Writing assignment this weekend and a take home chemistry quiz. Barf!

lol However, I am starting to like the days I have chemistry Lab because My friend Amber and I will totally goof off the whole time making it fun. haha We get some weird stares from our teacher but Honesty I don't care. I'm tired of caring about what other people think.

Ok, Mom had to take Butt monkey (A.k.a My sister) to Tae Kwan do and I kind of want to go with and get a Mocha freeze from Costco. Ok Gotta fly, I'll talk more in detail later

Chao!

Long day tuesday

Today has felt like it has just gone by way tooooo slowly.

I'm so tired right now so I apologize for any weird grammar context or misspelled words for my eyes are very heavy.

Idk Today has been pretty good, but super slow.

I'm listening to country on Pandora so I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not really sure what to write about...

I ran down at WV today with some of the winter conditioning kids. It's kind of sad that only three + John distance runner show up. Back in my day, we actually had a "Team". I don't think you can call three, I mean four people a team. There's not even any girls. Wow.... Anyways, my self esteem was kind of shot as it was Kody, Austin and Alex's easy five mile day and when I say easy, I mean it's my hard practically pushed paced. Lol It was all good though, I enjoyed going fast, even if I wanted to upchuck the entire time. Remember this, it is not such a great idea to eat before you go a pushed five miles. We did around the Airport and boat house loop. I had fun because it gave me a change in course and someone to push me, which I desperately need. However, I'm going to have to find some way to get pay back on those three, as I was picked on merciless by them the entire time, especially Austin. Hmm....Maybe I'll volunteer during track season and make them run like 10 or 12 400's. No...that would be mean. haha

Well most of the night I have been working on Chemistry problems..Blahhh kind of boring. I was able to write a little bit of my book which is coming along good. Slow but good. I still have to make school a priority but I want to write a little bit every day, even if it's only a paragraph or so.

Welllll.....I have to get up at 6am again tomorrow for school which is going to be hard. This morning I let my alarm ring for a good 5 minutes before I managed to pull myself out of bed. I have to say, it's quite the struggle.

Ok, I'm done for the night.

=)

Montgomery Gentry - Something To Be Proud Of

You know how there are just some songs that can fit your mood during the day? Well I had one of those moments today driving home from school while listening to this on the Radio. Good Song... :)

Monday mornings are usually the worst day of the week..

Well I've made it to school and worked out all before eight o'clock this morning. I'd have to say that i'm a little but tired but I can only blame myself for that being I didn't go to bed until almost twelve.

I wanted to kind of recap on what happened yesterday. I was pretty down on myself yesterday and my self esteem hit an all time low. I've had those days before and yesterday I wanted to kind of get it off my chest and write it all down. I've been thinking alot about yesterday and have realized that I don't every want to do that again. I don't like feeling this way.

For awhile now, i've been feeling...I guess you could say empty. Ok, again I don't want to come off as some wierd chick who's just looking for attention, being dramatic, whatever you want to think of it because that's just not it. For the most part, I am a content individual who has great freinds, great family, what more could I ever ask for.

But I feel like there is something missing.??

I always think about when i'm out running is what my purpose in this life is? I mean I feel like I wake up everymorning going through the motions. My life had become a routine that starts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed and then it starts all over again. I feel like I am searching for something. Something life changing maybe? that will get me out of this rutt i'm in. I feel like I need some change in my life, some excitement, I don't exactly know what. But I don't know how to make that change.

I feel Like I should be doing more with my life. I go to school, workout, do my homework and occasionally if I have time read a book because any more that's the only thing I enjoy doing. I'm not like most kids who hang out with their friends on the weekends, go to parties, the movies of whatever it is they do. When I do something I always do it alone.

Geezzz... Honestly I'm rambling now writing whatever it is that comes to my mind so I don't even know if any of this makes sense and I really don't have the time or the energy to go back through it and edit it so this is what you get. Raw! lol

My point is, I'm tired beating myself down all the time and feeling like crap. I need to make some changes and I need to start doing more things i enjoy. I need to focus on myself and making me happy. Which is why I wanted to tell whoever is reading this that I'm going continue with writing my book. After watching my mom for six months write every night, creating something I hope some day millions of people will enjoy, I want to do the same. I already had a couple of long chapters typed out already and pulled those out last night and started to rewrite Chapter one.

I think it's pretty good and I hope I can stick with it. Along with keeping up with my school work lol

Anyways, this morning I'm doing better, not great, but better and i'm going to fight harder to get out of this funk that i've been stuck in for way too long.

No worries
=)

Can we learn from our mistakes?

It's amazing how a day can go so good and then to crap the next.

I feel awful

I don't like to admit this but I have an addiction. I'm not gonna say what it is but I also know that nobody knows about it until now. I feel like I need to get this out of me. I'm tired of keeping this secret to myself. It's been building bigger and bigger inside me and today I think I hit my breaking point.

I know what your probably thinking. Well haven't you mentioned this to your parents? Why don't you get some help? and the thing is I have told my mom and dad and I don't think they really know that i'm serious in the fact that I have this problem. I'm even having a hard time admitting this to myself.

I feel like I'm drowning and I can't catch my breath.

The thing is that I know what I've been doing isn't right and it isn't healthy. It's like I start doing it and then I can't stop no matter how much I know this is wrong and I need to stop. It's like I'm not in control of my actions.

I always tell myself after I've done this thing that i'm not going to do it anymore but then a couple days later i'm at it again, torturing myself. I hope that the more I write this down the more it will come into reality.

I need to stop what i've been doing and I need to stop now! because If i continue to do this I will continue to feel this way, awful, disgusted with myself and that's not how I want to feel.

I'm tired of this...

Running is My Church

Morning!

I just got back from a run and as always I feel great! tired... but pretty darn good.

I was getting tired of always running on upriver either to the foot bridge or to the dam so I decided to head towards Millwood and do either the "Airport Run" or "Boat House" run today. I made it all the to the gate where boat house starts but I was still a little sore from yesterday that I decided I'd had enough and turned around, heading back home.

I didn't realize until after I was done running, when I was walking up Lehman that I had forgotten to wear my knee sleeve. Woops! However I think that it was a good thing because I had completely forgotten about my knee. Not once did I feel have any pain in my left knee. I mean my knee was sore but I didn't have any sharp pains like I usually do on runs.

Let me also note that it is a beautiful, no, gorgeous day outside. I love the mornings the most when the sun it coming out over Arbor Crest lighting up the Valley. It was cold this morning, almost everything had frozen over night before but the warmth of the morning sun was just right. That's why I titled this post the way I did because Running for me is like going to Church on Sunday. Even though Physically running takes endurance and is hard on the body, I feel absolutely at peace. I don't have a care or stress in the world. It's just me and the road stretched out in front of me.

I've had my breakfast and now I need a shower. I have some Chemistry Homework that I've been procrastinating on that I need to do today and do some studying. Maybe I'll go chill out at Starbucks.

Kite Runner

Ok....

So I just got done watching the movie Kite Runner and I am blown away....

I mean that was something...

A story about a remarkable friendship, an act that tears them worlds apart, and in the end coming back to where it all started. It shows us that we cannot hide from what we fear most and the only way we can face our fears is by courage.

You may ask what we fear and it's the Truth....

The Truth can be the most terrifying thing in this world. We cannot run when things get bad, for if we do Guilt is what builds inside us until it's so overwhelming that it is like a volcano on the verge of explosion, hot lava masked as guild and shame pouring out of its tip burning and destroying everything in it's path.

I guess my point is in all of this is stand of for what's right. Stand up to what you believe in, Stand up for your friends, don't sit on the sidelines with your head bowed and walk away...

Wow.

Chinese is hard, Double run made my Day, Dumplings for Dinner

Today went by way to fast and I don't like it one bit because I rather like my weekends. So now tomorrow will be Sunday which means the next day will be Monday and I will have to get up early and go to school.

Let's just say i'm not schools biggest fan...

But If I want to be a doctor i'm gonna have to put up with it for a while.

I went on two run's today. My first run was in the morning. My goal was to make it to East Valley high school from my house but half way there my calfs and quads were killing me and I just said "Screw it" and headed back home on trent, up empire to hole in the wall and then home on Upriver. I'd say maybe it was four close to five miles maybe?? I don't know. I really want to try and get up to Ten miles....I have alot of work to do though!

I think alot when I run, along with blaring country music on my phone. I think alot about school, life, the past and the future. This last week has been rough. I had a chemistry test on Monday and I completely panicked, blanking on practically every question. I got a 67% which i am just crushed about. =( I really hope that when the next test comes up that i will to better so that at the end of the quarter I will be able to drop it since my teacher drops the lowest test score.

So lets just say thats been eating at me almost all week and today, I can't seem to get over it and move on. I guess when I run I try to run away from all the bad things in my life. that's why I run so much. I have alot of stress in my life that I need to learn how to manage.

After running today, I took the extremely long way to get to Barnes and Noble to study for a little bit and work on some homework. That wasn't the greatest idea because in a book store i get easily distracted and then i want to go and browse through the books. I love books, i have so many in my room that you could almost say I have my own library, I've got every book. lol

Met mom at Costco, browsed through the samples, picked up some grocery's and enjoyed a Mocha freeze. I haven't had one of those in a while so it was especially delicious..Yum!

By the time I got home it was almost dark and i all of a sudden wanted to go running again so I took off for the foot bridge in the rain at a comfortable, recovery pace and that was the best part of my day. I love running in the rain! it reminded me of when Seniada, Rachel, I would go puddle jumping and jerk off during one of our easy run days during cross country. Haha Gene always got mad when we wouldn't run on our easy days. Those we good times. =) I miss it...

Well... that kind of sums up my short Saturday...I've got about 11% of battery left on my computer so I better wrap it up.

Run Fast,

Alex