Can we learn from our mistakes?

It's amazing how a day can go so good and then to crap the next.

I feel awful

I don't like to admit this but I have an addiction. I'm not gonna say what it is but I also know that nobody knows about it until now. I feel like I need to get this out of me. I'm tired of keeping this secret to myself. It's been building bigger and bigger inside me and today I think I hit my breaking point.

I know what your probably thinking. Well haven't you mentioned this to your parents? Why don't you get some help? and the thing is I have told my mom and dad and I don't think they really know that i'm serious in the fact that I have this problem. I'm even having a hard time admitting this to myself.

I feel like I'm drowning and I can't catch my breath.

The thing is that I know what I've been doing isn't right and it isn't healthy. It's like I start doing it and then I can't stop no matter how much I know this is wrong and I need to stop. It's like I'm not in control of my actions.

I always tell myself after I've done this thing that i'm not going to do it anymore but then a couple days later i'm at it again, torturing myself. I hope that the more I write this down the more it will come into reality.

I need to stop what i've been doing and I need to stop now! because If i continue to do this I will continue to feel this way, awful, disgusted with myself and that's not how I want to feel.

I'm tired of this...